By Caitlin Winkler, PLPC

Parenting: It can be one of the most physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding jobs in the world. It can bring great pain and hardship, with many trials and tests of will.  This job is not for the weak. Day in and day out you are on-the-clock. There are no vacations, no sick-leave, and not any paid time off. It is a 365/24/7 job.

We spend a lot of time preparing and working for our careers, but I believe one of the greatest tasks we have ever been assigned is raising our children. We are preparing the future teachers, doctors, farmers, and world-changers.  Because it is such a demanding and tough thing, wouldn't it make sense to need some amount of preparation and training?  Yet, most of us don't even have a class in high school that teaches basic child care. 

We learn from our own personal experiences with our parents or caregivers growing up.  We learn about what to do, and sometimes what not to do.  We may end up believing that parenting will come naturally and easily.

But what if you do not have the "picture perfect child"?  Does anyone?  Children can be unpredictable and are ever-changing.  They are constantly learning and growing, soaking up the world around them.  Within two years they move from completely helpless to extremely strong-willed and independent.  They begin to learn numbers and letters, silly songs and sayings, and before you know it, school begins.  Their days are filled with learning and new friends, but occasionally this time can be extremely difficult. 

The school age can bring its own set of challenges to many children.  From social issues, to learning disorders, extracurricular activities, and homework, life can become stressful and chaotic.  Many parents are ready for this stage to be over - and then it is.  Children grow up to become young adults and perhaps start their career or continue their education in college. Once across that bridge, your title as parent still stands, but you move from being primary caretaker to helper and "sharer of wisdom". 

With each stage your child goes through, you, as mom or dad, run a parallel course to theirs.  You too are always changing and learning to adapt as a parent.  Without significant and continued training for this monumental challenge, the day-in-day-out job can be overwhelmingly hard at times (though always worth it, am I right?).  It is impossible to know how to handle all the situations that child rearing can throw your way. 

If you can relate, you should know you are not alone.  It can be easy to believe you are the only one who has ever been through this and you may think you need to know all the answers.  But know this: You are NOT alone and you do NOT need to have it all figured out.  Find someone, somewhere who can share in your challenges.  As the saying goes, "It takes a village to raise a child." 

Be sure to find time to recharge and renew yourself.  Many parents feel guilty for spending time away, but even if it is just a couple of hours, self-care can make a major difference in how you manage the stress and pressure of being a parent! 

There are many resources out there such as kidshealth.org and pbs.org/parents with great strategies to utilize. Some also have free apps that are downloadable straight to your phone. 

If you are looking for techniques to establish (or re-establish) your role as parent.  Check out 1,2,3 Magic and Love and Logic, which have books, online pages, and videos.

If you believe professional help would benefit you or your child, please reach out!  At Unlimited Potential, we understand these issues both on a professional and personal level.  We would love to work with your family to help overcome the challenges in your world.

Caitlin Winkler is a Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor at Unlimited Potential Counseling & Education Center in O’Fallon. Caitlin iis under the clinical supervision of Emily Kircher-Morris, LPC (MO #2012026754).

By Sarah Mudd, PLPC, NBCCH, RASAC-II

While I was in graduate school, one of my first assignments was to evaluate myself based on 5 dimensions of wellness.  This assignment was an eye opener in many aspects and became a checklist I still live by today.  I never considered having so many parts of myself were important to my well-being.

Considering these 5 dimensions of wellness in your life may lead you on a track to a healthier lifestyle and feeling more fulfilled.  Learning these components may take time, but try to consider and break down each dimension to start.  In my personal experience, some dimensions were easy and others needed more work.  The key here is not to try to have all the answers or conquer each dimension quickly, but take time to truly know yourself and work on areas where you may have trouble or are lacking.  Exploring these areas can lead to enlightenment and a healthier you! 

​The 5 Dimensions of Wellness are:

1. The Essential Self- Thinking about the person as a whole, we see various components that make up a person.  We are not whole until we have achieved all components of life.  The components that make up each individual are diverse, yet we all have similarities as well.  Spirituality, Gender/Sexual Identity, and Cultural Identity are a few components that complete a person. 
2. The Creative Self- The creative self is fun and imaginative.  Thinking, Emotions, Control, Work, and Positive Humor all play a role in creativity as a person.  For many of us, this is one of the stronger components of our being.
3. The Coping Self- The coping self is an area that some of us people struggle with and need to work on to become a healthy person.  Some of us have a hard time coping with problems that come their way.  To improve in this area, we can implement coping skills/strategies and recognize that we are a work in progress.  The coping self has four areas: Leisure, Stress Management, Self-Worth, and Realistic Beliefs
4. The Social Self- The social self is an area of the person that is extremely important.  We as human beings are made to be with one another and socialize.  Isolation is torture for many.  Human beings thrive off one another and socializing is vital for growth and development. The two components of the social self are Friendship and Love. 
5. The Physical Self- It is also important that we remember to keep our physical self healthy.  This can include nutrition and exercise.  While eating well and getting exercise are important, proper sleep, and emotional, psychological, and spiritual health also play a role in the physical self being healthy as well. These areas are intertwined.

Learning about yourself will aid in wellness.  That is why trying to make changes to be well balanced is so important and crucial to success.  Being balanced is also crucial for the success of relationships and loved ones around you.  By becoming aware of the 5 Dimensions of Wellness, you can work to have an open mind and engage in the process of change. Awareness is the first step to wellness and our lives are process of growing.

Sarah Mudd is a Provisionally Licensed Professional Counselor at Unlimited Potential Counseling & Education Center in O’Fallon (MO #2016013189). Sarah is under the clinical supervision of Emily Kircher-Morris, LPC (MO #2012026754).